Love and Loss
by Lightning Struck
Summary: Series of one-shots between Sakura and Sasuke. Not connected, and they dont have fairytale happy endings. Each inspired by a song. Chapter 1: Wishes. He would come with demanding, hungry lips and fingers.
1. Wishes

"Oh Sasuke."

He was due back from his month long mission tonight, and I knew he would come for me. He would come with demanding, hungry lips and fingers. He would come to taste me, to control me through pleasure and pain. Only he was able to make me beg, to all others I was strong and independent.

He was always insatiable when he got back from missions, fucking me mercilessly into the night. Many girls in the village would die for his attention, give anything to be the one he was pounding into the bed, but every time he would visit me I could feel something inside me break.

When I was young and foolish I would have claimed that it was my heart shattering. But to claim that would mean that I was in love with him. And I knew that if I declared that it truly would destroy me. I had tried to ignore it, convince myself we were merely fuck buddies, and that if he wasn't so good in bed I would have punched him threw the wall just for looking at me.

Only I knew that wasn't true. As long as he wanted me I was here. And it needed to end.

The village didn't know that he would come to me in the night, thank god or I would be considered one of the village whores instead of a well respected medic nin. Naruto had found out though, and that crushed me.

He knew that I deserved better, that he was the better man, and he knew that I wasn't strong enough to leave Sasuke. Even this messed up thing we had, it wasn't even a relationship. And no matter how many times I told myself the opposite, it wasn't just physical. Not for me. And that was the problem.

I remembered a song I had heard earlier today. The reason for my soul searching on this cold winter night. The reason I was considering saying no, for the first time in my life.

_The saddest thing is you could be anything  
That you could want  
We could have been everything_

Was how it had started. And it was true. He could have been anything.

In some world where his brother had not killed his entire clan. Where he had lived a normal happy childhood. Where we could have been something, anything, everything. We could have been happy in this world, happy together.

Then he came for me, as I knew he would.

"Sasuke." I whispered, as he trapped me against the wall of my room. My hands where pinned above my head and his lips came crashing down on mine, driving all thought from my head but the song that was haunting me.

_But now we're not  
Now it's not anything at all_

I meant nothing to him, I was just a toy to him. Something that amused him and brought him pleasure, nothing more. We aren't even friends.

_The hardest part was getting this close to you  
And giving up this dream I built with you_

As he trust his hot tongue into my mouth, I felt all my dreams of us together fade. All the fantasies I had built up in my head since childhood crumble away, until they were nothing but dust. Only the song in my head remained, and his hands and mouth on me, heating me in wonderful and terrifying ways.

_A fairytale that isn't coming true  
You've got some growing up to do_

My fairytale was never going to happen, never. Inside he was still that scared little boy, screaming as his beloved brother ended life as he knew it. Although he had the body of a man, he would never be more then that little boy. He was stuck, unmoving, frozen. His hands grasped the hem of my shirt, ripping it off me and throwing it to the ground.

His calloused hands ran up and down my sides creating goose bumps and shiver while his hot tongue plundered my mouth, stealing my breath away. He ran his hands to my pajama shorts and ripped them off my body, tearing my panties away with them as well. I hadn't been wearing a bra under my sleeping shirt, so I was bare to him while he was still fully dressed.

His mouth moved to my neck, creating deliciously warm brands on my skin that I would have to heal in the morning. As his mouth marked my neck one of his hands deliberately trailed down between my breasts and across my stomach. It continued down to the heat pooling between my legs.

"God Sakura, you're so wet. Tell me, were you waiting for me? Waiting for me to come home and fuck you until you can't walk?" he was whispering in my ear as his fingers danced around the swollen nub at my center, teasing.

_After all the things you put me through  
Tell me why I'm still in love with you  
And why am I, why am I still waiting for your call_

I had been waiting for him. But tonight was different I realized. Because tonight was going to be the last time. No matter how it hurt, I was never going to wait for this cold man again. After tonight he was never going to have me. Never.

"Please Sasuke…" He thought that I was begging for it, for him to touch me the way we both knew he was capable of. He thought that I was begging for the mind numbing pleasure that had accompanied his other visits.

But I was begging for him to give me a reason to stay. Begging for him to show me one little bit of love, affection, even kindness. Just one little hint that he cared and I would let him come back night after night just as long as there was that chance.

But there was no kindness in his eyes as he looked at me, only need and hunger. There was no comfort for me here in his arms, only that numbing pleasure that killed me inside after.

_You broke my heart  
I'm taking it back from you  
And taking back the life I gave to you_

All the years I had given him, all my love for almost as long as I could remember, I was going to reclaim. It was mine to give, and for the first time I saw that it was mine to take back. All my life it had been given that I loved him, sometimes the only constant in my chaos. But now that love was straining and tearing, it could only survive so much. And this was it.

He finally stopped teasing me, rubbing against my clit roughly with his thumb as he shoved a finger deep into my core, making me cry out at his sudden invasion of my most private of places.

"That's it Sakura, scream for me." He thrust into me brutally, making my inner muscles spasm around his finger. He added another finger, and then another, stretching me painfully.

_Life goes on before and after you  
I've got some growing up to do_

After tonight I would survive, I would wake up, I would go to the hospital. I would eat ramen with Naruto. I would laugh with him, and hit him when he annoyed me. I would bicker with Ino, calling her names and smiling. He was not the end all be all of my life, no matter how I loved him.

_I wish we could have worked it out  
I wish I didn't have these doubts  
I wish I didn't have to wonder just what you are doing now_

Even as I decided that tonight was the last night, I felt the doubts deep inside of me. Could I survive without him? He had always been there, in my thoughts, always. I wish that I knew for sure what I was to him, whether I was truly just a sex toy or if his visits meant more to him. Still I knew that if I didn't stop this soon, I never would.

He ripped his fingers out of my dripping sex, and threw me onto my stomach on the bed. He bent me over the high matress, and I knew that he intended to take me from behind. All doubts I had about tomorrow vanished. The little hope I had that he might care died at that moment. He didn't even have the respect for me to look me in the eyes as he used me, as he fucked me.

_I wish I didn't know inside  
That it won't work out for you and I  
I wish that I could stop this wishing and just say my last goodbye_

He positioned himself at my entrance, and I tensed knowing what was going to happen. He thrust into me brutally, burying himself fully in me. I screamed at the feeling of being stretched almost until my limit. I was floating on pleasure-pain, and then he started to move within me.

He was pounding me, hitting new, deeper spots every time he entered me. I cried out as he grabbed my hips and slammed me towards his hips as he slammed into me. Colors burst on my eyelids, shapes and shadows dancing in front of my eyes. I was tightening around him, soon I was going to come, and when my walls were tightening on him, milking his member as he hammered into me.

As my walls tightened around him he lost it. We came together in an explosion of pleasure that nearly knocked me out. And as his seed burst into my womb I could hear the end of the song echoing in my head.

_It's time I said my last goodbye  
Goodbye  
Goodbye  
It's time I said my last goodbye_

For the first time in my life I pushed him away. For once, the roles were reversed. He fell to the ground, stunned that I had the balls to pull away.

"Get out Sasuke. I can't do this anymore. You need to leave." My face twisted into an expression of disgust as I surveyed my ripped clothes on the floor. "Listen to me carefully. You are going to leave my house, and you are never to come back again. You are never to touch me unless it is required for a mission. This is my last goodbye Sasuke."

The stunned expression was still on his usually emotionless face as Sasuke grabbed the clothes that I hadn't even seen him shed and walked out of the room. It was only when I could no longer feel his chakra signature and I was sure he was gone that I let myself collapse onto the bed.

"Goodbye" I whispered one last time as a tear rolled down my cheek. My last time mourning what could never be.

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**AUTHORS NOTE: Hey! I hope you like it....its my first kinda lemon...its not really detailed but cut me a break! This is a one shot. Please review!! The songs is called Wishes by Superchick, and its really good and what inspired this, so you should check it out. Youtube it! I don't own Naruto or the song. REVIEW! Please, I'm a new writer and I'm not sure if I'm good or not. Chack out my other story, its called Follow You.**


	2. Cath

And there she stood, beautiful in her white wedding dress. So beautiful, so lovely, and yet so heartbreaking. And next to her stood her soon to be husband as they prepared to enter his estate where the ceremony would take place. In her heart and in her head a song she had heard long ago echoed. She couldn't remember where she had first heard it, perhaps on a mission and yet it had stuck with her all those years.

_Cath, she stands with a well-intentioned man  
But she can't relax with his hand on the small of her back_

Sasuke was well-intentioned Sakura knew, he wanted her, to have, to hold, to possess. She supposed there was nothing wrong with that. He did love her at least, not that it was much of a consolation. But this had not been her choice, no, not at all. And as she stood there she was resigned to her fate as the fan girls took pictures of their obsessions last minutes of bachelordom.

_And as the flashbulbs burst  
She holds a smile like someone would hold a crying child_

Tsunade had refused to come to the ceremony, refused because she knew it was not what Sakura wanted. Knew that her apprentice could be more then the glorified baby maker of the new and improved Uchiha clan. She knew that Sakura was meant for more then being known as the wife of the last Uchiha, but rather as a world class medic and ninja. Sakura knew that she had fought tooth and nail with the council on the issue.

The truth of the matter was that just as she had moved on, just as she had found love and happiness, Sasuke had come prancing back into the village after having killed Itachi. He was ready to achieve his goal of reviving his clan, and had intended to marry her. He really was surprised when he found out that I moved on, Sakura reflected, did he think that I would wait for him forever?

_And soon everybody will ask what became of you  
'Cause your heart was dying fast, and you didn't know what to do_

This was for her village, and as her heart was breaking Sakura felt her sense of duty and a strange emptiness. It was her duty to revive one of Konoha's greatest weapons, one of the fearsome founding clans. It was almost ironic really, when she was younger she would have given anything to be here with him looking at her like this. With this tenderness in his eyes. But she couldn't meet his eyes, for she was wishing they were someone else's.

_Cath, it seems that you live in someone else's dream  
In a hand-me-down wedding dress  
Where the things that could have been are repressed_

So many girls would kill to be in her shoes Sakura knew, and she would do almost anything to be back on a certain someone's couch, like she had been only the week before. To be held in a different pair of arms then the ones that held her now. She wished she could be anywhere but here in the typical Uchiha wedding dress that had been her fiancé's mothers before her.

She knew it wasn't Sasuke's fault, and that he had nothing to do with what the council had decided. When he returned and found her rejecting anything other then friendship from him he had accepted it. He simply claimed that he would marry either her or no one at all, and had proceeded to be her friend regardless of his feelings. Only he hadn't told Sakura this, she had thought that he was getting over her just as she had gotten over him. His statement had sent the council into an uproar unfortunately, for if he truly intended to follow through on this then he would truly be the last Uchiha ever.

The council started meeting, and had summoned her late one night from her loves arms to "reason" with her. They explained that many of the bloodlines once found in Konoha were dying out or becoming rarer as a result of all the wars. The village couldn't afford to loose the Uchiha clan unless it was absolutely necessary which is why Sasuke had been welcomed back into the village with so little so they explained, that by refusing the Uchiha she was harming her village, she was picking her happiness and putting it above the village's wellbeing. As a shinobi it was her duty to protect the village  
anyway necessary, be it by fighting in a war, going on a seduction mission, or to make herself a baby machine. That was the beginning of the end of her dreams, that night was the end.

_But you said your vows, and you closed the door  
On so many men who would have loved you more  
_

They had over powered the Hokage and forced Sakura to swear to marry Sasuke to help the village. Sakura was so angry, for they had sworn her to secrecy, she was forbidden to tell Sasuke, Ino, not even  
the man she loved. No, Sakura was forced to leave him, the man who deserved so much more then this, this lie from her. She knew that he would accept that she left him as long as he thought she was  
happy. And that hurt her more then anything, because he really did deserve more. But she couldn't put the village before her love, because for every shinobi, the village comes first. if it meant that Sakura had to rip out her heart and leave it behind in the apartment they had shared, with the single letter she was allowed to leave. A letter of farewell, telling him to move on because  
she had. It nearly broke her to hurt him like that but she had no choice. It was that, or become a missing nin.

_And soon everybody will ask what became of you  
'Cause your heart was dying fast, and you didn't know what to do  
_

Soon the rumors would die down, and she would fade. As the years passed the village would forget her, Sakura knew, forget what who she was without knowing that she had sacrificed everything for Konoha's future.

Sakura let Sasuke lead her into his home. It would never be her home, no she had no home. Her home was in her memories. Memories full of laughter and pranks, of smiles and kisses. Of blonde hair that was like silk in her hands and blue eyes that always seemed to be smiling even though his past was so full of heartbreak.

_The whispers that it won't last roll up and down the pews  
But if their hearts were dying that fast,  
They'd have done the same as you  
And I'd have done the same as you_

Steeling herself, she spoke her vows and bound herself to her childhood crush. And as their lips met she swore to herself that she would do whatever was necessary to fulfill her duty, but she would never  
love her husband. She had no heart, for it had been stolen years ago by her knucklehead as she glanced up, she caught one last glance of him in the back. _Naruto._ She wanted to run into his arms, to kiss him, to hold him, to smooth the frown so rarely seen on his face. But it was too late, and  
this time it was his turn to leave, walking out of her life. And Sakura could do nothing but watch him leave forever. That is what finally broke Sakura Haruno Uchiha.

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**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I hope you liked it! It was really sad :( I don't know whats wrong with me but everything I write seems to be depressing! Please read and review! Though I supose that if you are readint his you have already read...so then jsut review please!!!!!!! I'll love you forever if you do :)**

**Morgan**


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